This is a week that i got major setback and breakdown, totally.

1st, baby shaun was unexpectedly, for the unknown reason, hit by seizure and unconscious. And for once, i thought i was gonna lost my loved one... i was totally helpless for that moment. Luckily, there was no damaged done except i got myself 3 years older after this incident. Doc couldn't even do a thing except to advise us to pay close attention on him. day and night. Should this happen again, we shall do a thorough brain CAT scan on Shaun... to see what goes wrong, in his brain...

2nd, am getting weaker, physically & mentally. I believe, if i am not mentally strong, or at least keep it in a less stressful and more relax mode, my physically fitness will not go better either. They go parallel with each other. I Set a goal early in this year that i will be more health consciuos and never get myself fall sick, but, up to now, it has been my 4th time this year. 1st, i had food poisoning (ok, this i can't control), spent 1.5 days on bed. Just about getting back on my foot, baby shaun gave me my biggest nightmare in my whole life, ever. Then, 2 days later,  i was hit by this damn flu virus... that made me dizzy for 2 more days. Worse, it's fell on my Options Trading Championship. The timing couldn't be better...

 3rd, i broke my own trading rule. Do not trade when i get sick. I have only myself to blame for. Over the 3 trading days stretch, i lost USD15k. Not because my brain couldn't function properly, matter of fact, all the stocks (10 of them) that i pick, have successfully beaten analysts' estimate, reported outstanding quarterly revenue and guidance. But, the market has no mercy on me. In fact, the market doesn't care at all, it doesn't care how hard working i am, it doesn't care how much effort i put on, it just hit me right on me face. I fell hardly, indeed. I shall rise again. But this time, it will take me longer time... I learnt something out of it, for the least. What i can say is... just accept the fact the, the market is dynamic.

4th, what's the big deal of the trading thingy??? simply bcoz it's my project/plan to get me out of  my rat race. This championship is an opportunity to test on my system, which i have been working on for the past 3 years.  And i failed miserably. There are some missing pieces yet to be found in my system... i have to start from square one. I lost the war, but i haven't lost the battle yet.

Lastly, i need an avenue for me to express all my bad feelings and emotions  All my loved ones, are so caught out in life, who do not really seem to have spare time, or perhaps to bother, to listen at all... No, i am not asking for your pity. I am not asking for your advice. I am just asking for you to be there with me... while i am pursuing my dreams, alone... is there too much for you?

I am a total failure, indeed. I just realized, this textmalaysia site is my best place for self express afterall.  Great job, ddcat!